The Unsent letters
by hayes-vampire
Summary: Cleaning out the office of professor Sevreus Snape, dwell ed deep with in his desk draws seven letters were crafted. Each addressed to one, Lilly. Each beautifully written and each... unsent.
1. Chapter 1

Philosophers Stone.

Lilly,

Watching your son, watching him entre was harder then I thought. My Heart is still shattered, more so every day.

The mimic He makes, the characteristics, his personality… his construed disregard for the rules!... He is James, Lilly. And yet… He is you.

Those emerald eyes. Those perfect emerald eyes.

Oh, Lilly. I feel ashamed, I feel disgusted because secretly deep with in my chambers I imagine him as ours. As my son. I could of loved him, taught him… I guess that's my job now and yet its something I would never think twice about. I owe you my life.

Harry found something Lilly, something that almost killed me. The mirror. The mirror of Eresad. Dragging Harry Dumbledore shot me a look. I dared me not to step inside that domain. As I did, I made a mistake. As I did my shattred heart broke even more. I saw You Lilly. I will always see you. I will always want to see you. Smashing my heart against the glass, blood pouring down the surface, tears streaming down. I felt an arm again my skin. I felt you telling me you loved me. I heard you whispering saying its was okay. I still love you Lilly.

We had a Quddich game Last month Lilly, Seeing Harry fly around, his Griffindor robes and deep dark hair I couldent help but see the mimic of James and for a moment in time I felt like you, seating in the stands watch him. Praying A bludging bludger stays clear… but something much worse happened Lilly… he almost joined you. I almost failed… again… and yet Lilly, I wonder if you were their, breaking Qurrils eye contact, with the blistering flames that mimicked your locks. Was you Lilly?

I'm sorry I almost failed you, that pain and disappointment attacked me like never before. Lilly, if I cant be here to protect your son, then why am I here?. That night I spent moments looking, staring into the cloudy mirror with in my chambers, my wand pointing into my temples. If Dumbledore's Nostradamus sense hadn't clicked, I would be their. With you. Holding you.

Well Lilly, Harry did it!... Harry did it because of you. Harry did it because of… James. Once again you've come to the rescue. Once again you've helped those in need. Once again… I sayed by his bedside Lilly throw the night replacing each dry toilettes with moist ones again…Even when I whisperd the tear filling words "I miss you mum". I stayed tell Dumbledore ordered me to sleep.

Hes Happy and strong Lilly.

Just like you.

I miss you.

Severus.


	2. Chamber of Secrets

I strongly suggest reading .net/s/4192998/13/Severus_Snape_Jr.

It's a brillant through the years breakdown, basing Harry as Snapes son.

Lilly,

I almost expelled James, Lilly, the anger and jealousy shotting through my vines shot into my mouth. Crashing into the willow was the chance I need to send forth my emotions into the revenge I never had to chance to get. But lily… McGonagall Snapped me back to reality… it wasn't James, Lilly. It was Harry.

Harry, the one im protecting... the one I hated a few moment earlier… will my hatred ever leave me Lilly?, When I see Harry, I see a living breathing element of yours and James's love. It kills me! Bur you are him, you will always be him. Thus I will protect him tell the day I die.

But once I snapped back, I was hurt. Harry could have been killed. I wish he'd waited, waited…sent an owl. Avoided the anxiety. I wish hed stop making reckless choice like hes father and think like hes mother. Heart Attack one.

I saw something Lilly, something I hoped I would never see again, A word I hoped Harry would never learn the meaning of… I saw Malfoy called Granger … that word. My heart broke more then hers did. I cried more then she did. I was hurt more then she was. That word cost me my everything. That word cost me you.. Lilly, I still belive that if I kept my anger in tact, you would have been able to talk me out of the dark arts… When I lost you, I stopped everything.

I am now A servant. A spy. A traitor, to keep Harry Safe.

Lily, Theirs been vast petrified Muggle borns, I Know Harry's safe but I still even after death worry about you. This has been the only stage and will ever be the only stage that I wish you weren't here.

Lilly, if you ever were in this state, I promise I would never leave your side. I promise I stay by you, I promise ill always hold you, cuddle you, kiss you tell you were back with me.

Oh, Lilly, Harry's… Hes A Parsle tongue. In duelling I gave Potter the chance to harm Molfoy for his foul mouth, something that dident even come close to the pain I felt when I uttered those foul words, Lilly, Cruccio wouldent even be pain I felt… anyway after Malfoy conjured A simple snake, that a simple spell would of worked, Harry spoke… Weather this will help or destroy him I cannot say all I can say is I feel the isolation he's currently feeling.

I almost died this year my love, When Harry gave me the final two heart attacks. Fighting that Aaragog, almost getting devoured by thousand of spiders. My gosh Lilly I was never scared more in my life.

Yet that feeling passed quickly when I heard of his heroic attack with A BASKALICK in the Chamber of Secrets, hell never know this, but I sneaked into his hospital room, gazing at A 12 year old that is slowing becoming my son.

I think im begining to love him Lilly.

S. Snape.


End file.
